The Psychology of "Good Girl"
Arsenal Members,
If you’ve spent any time on Twitter over the past week you’ve probably seen a few accounts (myself included) talk about calling your woman a “good girl.”
A few people commented under my post and asked why women like this.
So, today, we’re going to break down the psychology of the phrase “Good Girl.”
Let’s dive in.
First and foremost, there are two keys points you must understand as to how women operate:
Women thrive off of attention
Women need to be validated
If the natural order is upheld and traditionalism reigns supreme, then young girls would both capture their fathers’ attention and be validated by him.
If you are at all familiar with author John Eldredge and his book “Wild At Heart” then you know about the question every woman wants to be answered.
“Am I beautiful?”
Men have a question as well. “Am I worthy?” Worthy of strength, worthy of masculinity, and worthy of being called a man.
You will notice, the happiest women are those who have their beauty validated, not necessarily those who know they are beautiful.
We’ve all seen countless women let their beauty go to their head (think of OnlyFans chicks), so simply knowing she is beautiful is not enough.
Beauty must be recognized, appreciated, and validated.
So, how does the phrase “good girl” validate a woman’s beauty?
Because beauty isn’t just external (it isn’t just a matter of appearance). Beauty is also internal. If her heart is not beautiful, if her soul is not beautiful, then her outward beauty is meaningless.
Thanks to porn, too many men are only consumed with outward beauty and don’t care about a woman’s heart, soul, or her actions.
A woman’s actions are an extension of her beauty. The way she serves, nurtures, and cares for her loved ones is the purest form of beauty.
To serve, to nurture, to care, are good things for a beautiful woman to do.
Of course, as individuals, we should do good simply for the sake of doing good.
Men, perhaps, are “better” at doing good deeds simply for the sake of doing them, because many men do not seek out recognition for their work.
They do what is expected of them because it is expected of them.
Now, make no mistake, a good girl does good for the same reason, because she is intuitively aware that it is good for her to do good.
But remember, there is a question being asked constantly in the back of her mind, “am I beautiful?”
Is she beautiful? Are her actions beautiful? Is her heart and soul beautiful?
The truth is, if this validation does not come from her father, it must come from a masculine man who can and will lead her.
Even if her father answered this question for her when she was young and becoming a woman, she still wants it answered by the man who will become her husband.
Make no mistake, this is not a bad thing.
What about the “women thrive off of attention” part?
While a good girl does good because it is good to do good, she still wants to be seen.
Unfortunately many women seek out attention and validation through their sexuality, which is the “peak” of male validation. This is why so many young women are starting OnlyFans accounts.
Except sexual validation from simps and men who take advantage of her self-exploitation are not answering her question.
Only the sole strong, masculine man in her life (her husband) can truly answer this question.
So, you’re wondering, “How and when do I use the phrase ‘good girl’?”
Saying it to some random girl you just met or as a way to flirt before the first date is not going to work for you.
In fact, if she is not doing things to make you happier or your life easier, then she doesn’t “need” your validation or attention.
So, naturally, there needs to be some kind of exclusivity established.
Meaning, you need to be in a relationship for it to have maximal effect.
Women don’t care to hear “good girl” from a man who isn’t their man.
Because she wants to be validated and seen by the man she loves. It doesn’t matter if it comes from anyone else.
Not sure how to build that kind of relationship?
It’s one of the many things I help prepare men for in my quit-porn coaching.
If you’re struggling to quit porn and attract a “good girl” I can help.
Click the yellow-button below to fill out the quit-porn application.
Your best life awaits.
Talk soon,
— KD